Why can't orphans call their friends?
Because they don't have a home phone!
Family Jokes
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.
So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.
"I want to kill my family."
-realizes-
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
Why can't orphans go on school trips?
"Parents signature _________"
Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?
Because they don't know what age rate they are...
Orphans are funny cuz all they do is sing "We Are Family."
I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Why can’t orphans have an iPhone?
Because they can’t find the home button!
What does Nemo have in common with my dad?
They both can't be found.
Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.
When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.
Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
I asked my mother about her mom.
She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.
When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
