Family jokes
The thing my mom birthed.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They can't find home plate.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
Why was the orphan so bad at basketball? He had no encouragement.
Why do orphans not like laptops?...
They don't have a homepage.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
Why can't orphans learn about Ancient Egypt? Because they won't know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans become criminals? Because she isn't wanted.
What did Little Johnny say to his dad?
Johnny: "Dad, please not again! I'm too young!"
I was reading the news and read that a kid killed his family, and when they interviewed him, he said he wanted to become Batman.
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my uncle?
My girlfriend didn't go to jail for loving me.
Orphans are the best targets for bullying, since who are they gonna cry to? Their parents?
Your mama's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it said, "Viewer discretion advised!"
Your mother is so fat, she doesn’t need...
Why do orphans play GTA so much?
Because they can be wanted for once.
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them their parents are waiting when they wake up.
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"