Family jokes
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What's an orphan's favorite store?
Ashley Home Store.
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
Why does an orphan love baseball? Because their ball comes back, get pranked, bitch!
Why was the orphan so famous?
Because when they asked him go big or go home, he only had one option.
I love my mom.
"Knock, knock."
"Orphan: Who's there?"
"Not your parents."
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.