Family jokes
My grandma was telling me to be positive, as I was going in for an AIDS test.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home plate is.
So an orphan played for a football team, and the coach said, "Your parents must be proud of you!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
What games do orphans hate?
Bingo.
What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
I took my son to a driver's school and am surprised because he got his license but soon lost the privilege to drive a car because he ran over my ex on "accident."
(I gotta go pay him out of jail!)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orphan.
Orphan who?
Orphan who needs a parent!
I saw this kid sitting on the sidewalk and asked him where are his parents?
I love working at an orphanage.
What does an orphan not have in common with criminals?
Criminals are wanted.
I saw a kid on the curb while I was on a walk, and he was in baggy clothes, and I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "Yeah." And the orphan said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Ur parents."
Why could the orphan never be gay?
Because he had nobody to call "daddy."
The best night of my life was when I gave my virginity to my wife, and her last word was when she called me "Mommy" at the top of her lungs before I knocked her up 😍.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Your mom isn't here because she doesn't love you.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.