Family

Family jokes

Why can’t orphans watch Netflix?

Because they don't know what age rate they are...

Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

Orphan: Go on then.

Me: Your family tree.

What does Nemo have in common with my dad?

They both can't be found.

Your entire family tree must be a cactus, because everyone in your family is such a prick.

When you get home and see your parents with your grades in their hands.

Twenty minutes later, they're slapping you with the belt.

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

I asked my mother about her mom.

She said she was in a better place. After that, I asked her where that place is. She didn't know, so I sent her to a better place.

When you break up with your online girlfriend, and you hear your uncle crying in the other room.

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.