Family jokes
Guys, these jokes are not funny. My dad died, he was the best Arabic pilot ever.
Why do people love dating orphans?
Because they're always home alone.
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't all orphans learn about ancient Egypt? Because they don't know what a mummy is.
Why can't orphans play dodgeball? Because no one misses them.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
Why can't an orphan go on a field trip? They don't have a parent's signature.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
Me: "Cya"
Mom: "Where ya going?"
Me: "The orphanage to make yo mama jokes."
Mum: ...