What type of movies are orphans not allowed to watch?
PG movies.
Coworker: Knock knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Coworker: Not your parents.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
My dad died in 9/11, and that was the second worst thing that happened to me with a plane, next to Soul Plane.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
You're more uglier.
Why is LeBron James an orphan?
Because he doesn't use WhatsApp.
Why couldn’t the orphan run away from home?
Because it didn’t have one.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Why are orphans bad at dad jokes?
Because they don't have a dad to tell them.
What does my dad and the Twin Towers have in common? They used to be with us, now it's just a sensitive topic.
You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.
Thanks for the birthday wishes. It's been an odd one this year, as some of you know, my father suddenly passed away on my birthday last year, and anyone who knew the old man knew he had a sledgehammer wit!
Good on ya dad, ya definitely got the last laugh!
My sister said I was only allowed to grate cheese, so I said to her that I’d prove her wrong.
The next day my mum asked me why my cheese was tan, and I said it was my own special recipe. My mum loved the cheese but she didn’t like it much after the funeral.
Why do orphans start fights?
Because they don't get in trouble at home.
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
What does my family and the Twin Towers have in common? We both played Jenga.
Why does Aaron chug beer on a Wednesday?
Because his dad beats him every single day because he has scoliosis.
