When i was going downstairs Sum Ting Wong fell and doctors say Sum Ting Wong happened
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
31. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
32. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. "See that over there? What is that?", says the first crow. The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it." "How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?", replies the first crow. "Look at it's hand. No cellphone", says the second crow.
33. Three friends stranded on a deserted island find a magic lamp. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish. “I want to go home,” says the first friend. The genie grants her wish. “I want to go home, too,” says the second friend. And the genie sends him back home. “I’m lonely,” says the third friend. “I sure wish my friends were back here."
34. A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
35. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
36. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
Q. Why did the boy fall of his bike
A.his mom through a oven at him
your so skinny that you fall
The twin towers were the best soilders ever. Stand together, FALL TOGETHER!
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer 13 0 1
t thelittletimmy6 days ago 1 like = 1 more child in my blender 82 5 11
a andrewgrayson5 days ago Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy. 27 1 3
M MedievalJoker22 hours ago in America Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!? 4 0 0
h heeeieo3sxedcv bnm10 hours ago When you call the middle eastern suicide hotline they ask you if you can fly a plane. 3 0 2
The Legend1 day ago Do trees shit?
Well, how else would we get #2 pencils? 5 0 0
Staniel13 hours ago A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?" He replies, "No, it's too expensive." 3 0 2
Staniel14 hours ago Why did the sperm cross the road ———— because I put on the wrong sock today 3 0 0
TheForeverVirgin5 days ago 1 like=1 more orphan I dropkick 28 2 5
Anonymous1 day ago Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :) 4 0 0
Anonymous7 hours ago in Orphan what makes an orphan jump? A Bridge 2 0 1
G Goofy ah11 hours ago I. Have no dad no milk and no mom so that means no tits like if u can relate 2 0 1
A Alastor Already From Hell14 hours ago What’s the difference between Hitler and Steven Hawking?
Nothing, their both dead, one painted the walls and the other commuted suicide by pressing ALT + F4 2 0 0
C COLINGAMING2000915 hours ago A funny joke
knock knock "Whose there" who "who who" Ha who who you sound like an owl "fuck you" 3 1 1
Sandwichtheif16 hours ago Why can’t orphans play baseball?
He can’t find home 2 0 0
Cal3y3 days ago 1 like= 1 more child in my basement 9 2 0
Anonymous5 days ago in Orphan What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt me. 15 1 1
e easports3 days ago 1 like= 1 kids in the bed with me 8 2 3
Z Za_gotjokesss4 days ago My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt 7 0 0
G Goofy ah2 days ago +1 like=1 kid in my basment +1 comment =1 kid in my microwave +1 share =1 kid in my blender 3 0 14
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Did you know that Americans fall out of both sides of the bed?!?
What's the similarities between the New York Jets and the World Trade Center? They both fall I'm September.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Your hairline is so big the Niagara Falls said “oh looks like we’ve got some competition
what hit the ground first in 9/11 the people
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THATS 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“
When butterflies fall in love, do they feel humans in their stomach?
You so skinny when you lift up weights you fall through your asshole
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall.
yo hairline so ugly when u go to school u fall on a line
yo mama so fat when she falls 999 have to call a crane to pick her up
An apple and an emo girl fall from the same height in a tree which one hits the ground first Apple cuz The Noose stops her
