eye's jokes

Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up in the morning? because they don't have balls to scratch.

I spy with my little eye something starting with, actually I have TWO normal eyes.

Say: "eye"

Spell: map

Then say: "enis."

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?

Nukes are bright.

How do you say "fish" without the "i"?

Fsh

How to respond if someone starts looking at the photos on your phone.

Step 1: Jab your thumbs into their eye sockets.

A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

What do you call a deer with good eyes?

Good ideas.

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

Why does a blind man still have eyes?

So he can see that he can't see.

Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.