Yo mama is so ugly she is the reason slenderman has no eyes

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me something smells!

Man and woman are having a discussion. Woman looks into man’s eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . ".

“. . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in”.

Divorce is scheduled for next month.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to birds eye

Why did the one eyed chicken cross the road? To get to birds eye

10 Fun Facts

  1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
  2. You can’t count your hair.
  3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
  4. You just tried number 3.
  5. When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
  6. You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
  7. You skipped number 5.
  8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
  9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

What did the right eye say to the left?—Between you and me, something smells!

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing you haven’t told her twice already.

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat

What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye? A one giant

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh

Why are your eyes blue? CUZ THEY HAVE FOOD COLOURING IN THEM

Whaddaya got when ya got yourself a deer with no eyes?

Ya got no-eye-dear.

At school, bobby boy’s classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with “why are you crying”. Bobby says “someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die”. His mom looks him straight in the eye and says “depends, which one are you referring to?”

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there

my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there

So I was watching tv right? then i f…ing got banged in the eye with either a remore or metal tongs “wtf”

doctor: i’m sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left. man: what?! what about my family??! my son is still missing! i can’t just leave like that! doctor: don’t worry sir, i told your family. man: that’s… great… if they found my son, tell them that i love him more than anything and i couldn’t keep that promise. the doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes. doctor: i will… dad…

tq for reading my crappy joke

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