What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

You don’t need brains to be a Boss. When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control all of the body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.”

The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don’t need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that’s why it’s so hard to identify the rapist.

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar? Because they both have eyes.


I spy with my little eye…

-noting Iam blind-

me: "you wanna see my dad" some kid: "yeah?" me: "close your eyes and he will appear" some kid: “he ain’t appearing" me: “sorry i thought he would appear for you. he won’t appear for me” *the kid laughs”

moral: not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on 🙃

Keep Rolling you’re eyes and maybe you’ll find a brain back there

Why do nuns walk in groups?. So one “ nun” can keep an eye on the other “ nun” just to make sure that she isn’t getting “ nun”.

Say: Eye Spell: Map Say:Ness

What do you tell a female with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice

What do you call a fish with no tail? A one eyed grape 🍇

Bitch: Nice eyes brows

Me: Yeah wears yours motherfucker

Bitch: (Realizing she shaved them off cause she thoughts it would look cool)

yo mama so ugly she the reason why slender man has no eyes

Why did sally get a black eye?

  • She tried to play patty cake

Yo mama is so ugly she is the reason slenderman has no eyes

What body part takes the longest to decay? The eyeball, because it will always dilate.

What does the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me something smells!

Man and woman are having a discussion. Woman looks into man’s eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . ".

“. . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in”.

Divorce is scheduled for next month.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to birds eye