I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
My favorite joke: My life.
Have a great day today!
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Ouch!
If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Is depression sadness or happiness? I call it a fun time.
I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.
I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.
I had a good time with friends!
Hi, oooo was the day I was a kid. I was going home to school today after dinner!
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
"Oh, I really liked it!" she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, "What do you mean?"
She said, "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!"
Getting murdered by someone is probably the most intimate experience I'll ever have.
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
I did have a good night and I did a good night and I had fun.
What hype is this place out? Is it for the night? You cannot say what is a great night. I have a good night.
I did have a good time today, I did.
Life is like a box of chocolates, they f*cking melt :)
