Ouch jokes

A man walked into a bar...

Ouch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hellen Keller went to go grab her bouncy balls.

Man: Ouch!

A blonde walks into a bar.

Ouch.

What music scares balloons?

Pop music.

Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

Because it is getting peeled.

What did the rapper say when he stubbed his toe?

"Ouch! That's NOT a sick beat!"

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

Plane crash in China... pilots names released in the incident are as follows:

Sum Ting Wong.

Wei Toh Low.

Ho Lee Fuk.

Ban Din Ouch.

What did the girl say when she ran through the door?

Ouch.

"Ouch!"

"What's wrong?"

"I stepped on a screw."

"Are you ok?"

"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"

Two Chinese men walk into a bar.

"Owwwwwwwwwww," they say instead of "ouch."

Did Mr. Rusher play tennis in the dark?

You will get hit by the tennis ball! Ouch, Mr. Rusher said.

When Canadians get hurt, they don't go "ouch," they go "ooch!"

Ouch!

My brother said, "Bruh, why you so ugly plus why do you stink?" Me: "Is that supposed to be a roast? I got one for you. Why do you look like you came out the wrong side of your mother? Instead of her stomach, you came out of her butt. That's why you were born with brown spots on your head. That's her poop, you stupid fuckface." My friends: "Ouch that's gotta hurt."

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

Friend: Did your tattoos hurt?

Me: Nah, not really.

Friend: What did they feel like?

Me: 7th grade.

Friend: 😶😶😨😰😰😰😨

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."

Boss: You're fired.

Me: *pauses porn* Why?