Experience jokes
Have you ever heard of sex? Because you just got fucked.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Why are Germans so good at cleaning?
They have experience in ethnic cleansing.
I hate my life.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
EXPERIMENT SUCCESSFUL 😱😱 Scientists have created an element named Pessomium 😳😳
Characteristics: - Highly reactive only in Bolivia and Panama 😡🤬 - Turns invisible when in Brazil or Uruguay 🥵🤧 - Finished 😹🤕 - 0 protons 0 electrons 0 goals 0 assists 7 debuts 🥶
Dark humor is like parents, not everybody gets it.
Life is like a film; it goes on, but you can cut at any time.
A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."
You know how sometimes you want to listen to music?
But everything you listen to is just supremely unsatisfying, even if it's songs you usually love; they are just so unappealing, and you have no idea what you actually want to listen to.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Don’t feel bad about this day because there’s a saying: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present."
School shooting happens:
Foreign exchange student: Sobbing under desk.
American student: “First time?”
The student from Irak with an AK47: "RAtatata..."
One time my receipt broke before I even got to my truck.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.