Experience Jokes

There were once these two twins. One twin, no matter what happened, was always pissed off, while the other one was always happy.

This baffled scientists, so they ran an experiment on the twins to figure out what was happening. They took the angry one and left him in a room with all of the latest technology and the most expensive toys and left him overnight. When they came back, he was still grumpy. When they asked him why, he said, "None of these are actually mine, and you left me in here all night, so I'm angry!"

His explanation was reasonable, so they ran another experiment on the other kid. This time, they left him overnight in a room that was literally just filled with horse shit. When they came back to check on him the next morning, he was still smiling. When they asked him why, he said, "With all of this horse crap, there has to be a pony in here somewhere!"

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."

*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵

Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

Me: Am actually happy right now.

Life: Lol one sec.

Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.

Please comment! :)

At first, I didn't like Big Ben, but then I went there and the experience was un-BELL-ievable!

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was LSD. I see a dreamer.

I had sex, but ended up going "uuyaahh!"

What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.

Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!

(I am still a single young virgin.)

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

The first time I EVER HAD SEX I WAS ALL ALONE. You know why?

IT WAS DARK and I WAS ALL ALONE!

Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.