Every jokes

Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.

You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.

We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

Girls Are Yummy Stupid

Are Really Erectable

Tasty Honey Ejaculable

Booty Everything Sucking Titties

Gays don't be mad, read the first letter of every word :D

If I had a dollar for every time someone did something stupid,

I would have approximately 7.8 Billion dollars.

Why are Muslims terrible at football?

Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.

In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.

Once there were these two fruitcakes driving in their Pink Porsche. "Oh, this handles so well!" they exclaimed.

Then this Mack truck came around the corner at their stop sign and rear-ended them. The passenger said to his partner, "You tell that man he's gonna pay every single cent 'cause we're going to sue him!"

So the flamer gets out and swishes to tell the trucker to do that very thing. The trucker was a tough who said, "What do you want, wimp?" The gay said, "You just hit our new Pink Porsche, and we're gonna make you pay every single cent 'cause we're gonna sue you!"

The trucker said, "Oh yeah? Blow me!" The gay driver went "Ohhh!" and ran back. The gay partner asked him, "What did he say?" His fruitcake driver said, "Ohhh! It's wonderful, he wants to settle out of court!"

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

Every moon has a silver lining.

At a date:

He: "I work with animals every day."

Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"

He: "I'm a butcher."

Why did everyone quit the high school volleyball team? To join Coach Kyle's team, of course!

If I had a dollar for every gender, I would have 2 dollars and a bunch of counterfeits.

Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!

When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he gets a hole in one.

As a 13 year old, online dating is a tough thing.

Every time I meet someone new, they end up in jail.

I think my coworkers are gay. -- Every time I walk by, they mumble, "What an ass."

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.