Evers jokes

I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.

Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?

Yeah, it's called RobberBand.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.

If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"

"I heard a noise in the basement! I'm gonna go to my friend's house and play Minecraft with him until the noise I heard goes away."

"I heard a noise in the basement. I'm gonna go down there with a bazooka and thirty thousand rounds of pistol ammo and fifty thousand pistols."

Said no horror movie character ever.

And also GTA logic.

My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.

My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.

Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.

Why did the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was a gay male 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged not say anything to a group of gay white men that were not physically challenged after they called him a size queen after the Puerto Rican American 🇺🇸 🇵🇷 that was born physically challenged was done taking turns giving them a blowjob and was done taking turns swallowing their sweet cum? 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

Because it was the best meal that he ever had since he has been in prison for 30 years. 🇺🇸 🇵🇷

Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?

Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.

Me. I am the worst joke ever.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

I tried to write the shortest joke ever, so I wrote a two-word joke, which was "Dwarf Shortage." It's just so I could pack more jokes into the show.

Have you ever heard of the stupid coyote? He got stuck in a trap, chewed off three of his legs, and was still stuck!

If you ever get mad, just punch an orphan. What are they supposed to do? Tell their parents?

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?

"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"

What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!

Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.

Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?

Well..... neither has he.

You've heard of anal sex.

You've heard of oral sex.

You've heard of genital sex.

But have you ever heard of NASAL SEX?