Evers jokes

Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?

Me neither. It all came crashing down.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."

Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Today; worst day ever.

My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.

If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire.

They're trained for that.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)

Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭

I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Ever tried looking in a mirror lately? I wouldn't, your crooked hairline might break it.

Have you ever tried North Korean food?

Neither have the North Koreans.

Ever since I needed a wheelchair, my husband has been so rude. He’s been pushing me around and talking behind my back.

How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.

He said, "Best surprise ever!"

Have you ever eaten African food?

What's the biggest joke ever? Gender equality.

So one time this really rich guy’s son’s birthday was coming up. So he asks his son what he wants. So the son says, "Can I have pink ping pong balls?" The father asks why, and his son stays silent.

The dad decides to get it for him. The dad doesn’t see the son ever do anything with them. A year later the dad asked him what he wants. The son then says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" The dad then responds with, "Son, why? I gave you some last year, and this whole year you did not play with them." The son, yet again, stays silent. The Dad was reluctant to do it but did it anyway.

Now a few years later, the son is now 20, and his rich dad and him have not seen each other in a while. So the dad decides to celebrate his son's birthday. He asks his son once again what he wants, and his son says, "Can I have 10,000 pink ping pong balls?" His dad screams, "SON, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THESE BALLS!!! I NEVER SEE YOU WITH THEM, AND YET YOU STILL WANT MORE. WHAT THE HELL!!!" The son, yet again, stays silent. The dad, though a little pissed, decides to buy as much of the pink ping pong balls that he sees and gives it to his son. The son is happy but does not do anything.

Now after a while, the son is about 30, and he and the father are more distant than ever. The father gets a call from a hospital telling him that his son could die from a disease that only 2 people survived. So the father goes there and starts crying and grieving. Then he asks his son what he would like before he dies. The son then says, "Can you buy me all of the factories that produce pink ping pong balls?" His dad doesn’t question because he is too sad to and buys him the only factory that produces pink ping pong balls. Then the doctors put him in a wheelchair and follow the dad, and they take him to one of the pink ping pong ball factories, and the dad says, "Okay, son, I fulfilled what you wanted. But what have you done, and what do you plan to do with all of these pink ping pong balls?" The son, ignoring the question, says, "This is magnificent. My final wish is that I stay here overnight."

So the doctors and the father decide to, and everyone goes home to sleep. The next day, everyone returned to the factory to find all the pink ping pong balls gone and the son. The father was sad but a little angry and decided to search his whole house to find pink ping pong balls but doesn’t find any, and they search the whole factory for the son and the balls. And soon they end up searching the whole earth and never found him.

Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.

There are many types, good and bad, all at a reasonable price (€3.90 per week), and you can buy crushed stone for €5. It can be fresher and tastier than ever.

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite." Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly." Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game." Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..." Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*