Evers jokes
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
What is the worst joke ever? It's you.
What's the grossest thing ever?
A bag of dead babies.
What's even more gross?
The bottom one is still wriggling!
Stephen Hawking was one of the best scientists ever. Now he's walking up the steps of he... No, he's not walking up the steps of heaven.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really, really horny.
Jack, who hadn't stuck it in for a few weeks, was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. "1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a fuck," she said as she stroked his ever-hardening one-eyed snake.
"Yeah, I'll have both of them," said Jack, who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and fucked for an hour. After that, they both contracted AIDS and died of it, as they did not see a doctor. THE END
How do you surprise a 50-year-old man? By putting a 12-inch dick through his ass.
He said, "Best surprise ever!"
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.
Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"
The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?
Me neither. It all came crashing down.
A bus full of nuns die in a car crash and end up at the pearly gates where Saint Peter greets them, "Hello sisters, welcome to heaven. Before you enter, I must ask you all a question." He asks the first nun, "Have you ever touched a penis?" Well, she said, "Just once, with the tip of my little finger." "Ok, dip it in the holy water and you can enter." He repeats the question to the second nun. Well, she says, "I might of held one once." "Ok," says St. Peter, "wash your hands in the holy water and you can enter." Just then, there's a commotion down the line. One nun is trying to push in front of another. St. Peter says, "Sister Susan, there is no rush, you will get in." "That's fine," she replies, "but if I have to gargle that stuff, I want to get in before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it."
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.