Evers jokes
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.
I won't ever forget my dad's last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Do you think Stephen Hawking could ever plug his Instagram or anything?
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.
I just watched a program about beavers.
It was the best dam program I’ve ever seen!
What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!
Have you ever walked through Stephen Hawking's house? No?
Well..... neither has he.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”