Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Worst joke ever.
What did the parrot say when it saw a duck?
"Polly want a quacker!"
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Why did the mummy leave his tomb after 3000 years?
Because he thought he was old enough to leave home.
That is one of the very, very, very, very, VERY WORST jokes ever.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.
The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”
If you ever get bored, just hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
Your life is the best joke ever.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.
But she has to. She's his mom.
