Event jokes

You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.

Why did the skeleton not go to the ball?

He had no-body to go with.

Hey, the biggest distraction will never be my tattoos in this facility if you understand what I am saying.

But in all seriousness, welcome to the biggest frat party taking place near the ocean. I am most likely going to tell my family this or maybe not, depending what's going down. I am very adaptive through different circumstances.

Q: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?

A: Everywhere!

Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.

They asked me to speak at this funeral, and I said, "Of corpse!"

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

I decided to make a charity bungee jump for the local disabled. It's called "Spastics on Elastics."

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

Why is there no invitation to an internet party for those with laptops? Everyone can get in.

Where did Sally go during the attack?

Everywhere.

What is a neonatal's first time in the world?

Dear Grad Parents,

Please pass the attached Commencement schedule on to your graduate(s). We ask that students arrive 15 minutes prior to their scheduled time and that they do not arrive early. Staff will greet the students outside the main entrance. Students may wear cap and gowns and/or formal wear.

There will be more information to follow in the coming days.

Thank you.

I'm at the circus, Noah O'Brien.

Have a great year!

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cookout?

A jump rope!

Sans: Hey Frisk, why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Frisk: Why didn't he go to the dance?

Sans: 'Cause he had no body to dance with!

Girl (on thirteenth birthday): Ma, why did papa leave?

Mother: Well, it started exactly 1 year and 189 days ago...

Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.