My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
None of these are even funny. Just stupid.
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
Na only this guy I know say him trouser fat pass his bank account. 😹😹😹
That's if you even have an account. 😹😹💔😹💔💔😹😹
"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
A woman once didn't return home for the night, and the next morning when she arrived home, her husband started questioning her about where she had been. She lied, saying she slept at one of her friends' houses.
The man proceeded to call all her friends, all of whom denied her sleeping at their places the previous night.
Meanwhile, somewhere else, a man didn't return home to his wife for the night either. The following morning, his wife started questioning him, and he lied, saying he slept at a friend's house. She proceeded to call all his friends. All of them said that he indeed slept at their places the previous night, and one of them even insisted that he's still there, but he's using the bathroom and he can't talk right now!
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
Even if you do burn down an orphanage, it's not gonna matter. It's not like they have homes.
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
Your hairline is so big, not even a black hole can eat it!
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
Your hairline goes so far back that even Gavin, who looks like a monkey, can't see it!
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Why can't orphans go to parents' evening? Because their parents left them.
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
