Escape jokes
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Did you hear about the four foot tall psychic who escaped prison?
He's a small medium at large.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To end his pain and suffering.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily, I already fled the country.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
I wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.