Emotion jokes
It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.
Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.
Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰
Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏
Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓
Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:
This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕
I started crying when dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!
My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.
Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Awww, don't cry!
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
My Bff: Hey do want any coffee?
Me: Yeh, of course.
My Bff: Ok which one?
Me: You know... the black one.
Me: Like my soul...
My Bff: Jeez you ok?
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.
What do a doctor and a girlfriend/boyfriend have in common?
They both break your heart.
I'm so frickin' bored! Please, somebody want to chat? PLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!
I have it.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
Guys talk to me is what the emo loner said, but seriously, talk to me.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
At my most fear, I shit my pants.