Emotion Jokes

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

Why did the sea cry?

Because it felt salty and blue.

If gay means happy, then I am now straight.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

I got jealous when my phone dies.

Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.

Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home.

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".

What's the difference between an onion and a baby?

One makes you cry when you cut it up.

Knock knock. Who's there? Crippling depression. Crippling depression who? Me.

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...