Emotion jokes

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

What do you call your angry French aunt?

A crossaunt.

Why did the sea cry?

Because it felt salty and blue.

If gay means happy, then I am now straight.

My friend’s mother was never a font of sympathy, but always the one to see beyond the darkness.

Upon learning about her daughter’s cancer diagnosis she said, “Well honey, at least you’ll lose some weight!”

What is the difference between hungry and horny?

The cucumber goes to different places.

My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.

Roses are red, your eyes are brown; never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down.

I saw an orphan in the grocery store and asked him, "Where's your mom?" and he cried. Why?

Somebody told me to cheer up so.... I told him to pass me a rope :)

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

I cried while my parents were cutting onions... onions was such a good dog.

How do you make a builder cry?

Kill his family.

I got jealous when my phone dies.

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?

Because it can't hit home.

Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.

Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

Why was the staircase so sad?

Because everyone walks on them.

What do you call a sad, depressed artist? Anything but "Cows of Woe".