Education jokes

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Spend all night in a dark humor webpage.

Go to an orphanage today and read it to them.

And I'm sure if you go to a school for disabled children, they should understand it.

Guess what, everybody? I'm dumb in math. I'm dumb and stupid at math.

Why do orphans go to public schools?

Who's going to homeschool them?

What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?

People jumped off a building to escape it.

What do Americans call high school?

Shooting range.

Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.

Do you know 6+3?

Other person: Nine.

Nein is no in German.

What did the calculator say to the student?

You can always count on me.

Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."

What are American schools?

Shooting ranges.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.