Education jokes

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Rice Middle School

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.

Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!

AP Chemistry.

A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."

Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.

Teacher and kid.

Kid: Hey, teacher.

Teacher: Yes?

Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not.

Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.

What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?

They took a class trip.