Education jokes

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."

Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?

Because there was no chemistry...

Q: What's yellow and can't swim?

A: A school bus full of children.

How do bees get to school?

They take the buzz.

I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.

I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.

"I don't want to go on my at-home history."

- My friend, anon 2019.

Me: "I came home laughing."

Parents: "What's wrong?"

Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."

Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"

Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."

Parents: "What is it?"

Me: "Who farted?"

A letter to all Math:

Dear Math,

Grow up and solve your own problems!

2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!

Student: What's the best thing in the world?

Teacher: I don't know what.

Student: Hard rock cock.

I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of children.

I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.

They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

What is a cow's favorite class in school?

Moosic.

Where is a place where people die?

Rosshall Academy.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.