Education jokes
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Rice Middle School
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
Why is 3 such a helpful number? Because 3 helped out on a science project 4 5!
AP Chemistry.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.