Education jokes
AP Chemistry.
A kid came from school. His mother said, "What did you do in school?" The boy replied, "I had sex with my teacher." She said, "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said, "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you, son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store, the dad said, "Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said, "I can't, my butt is sore." Dad said, "Why is your butt sore?" The Boy said, "Because I had sex with my teacher."
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? They handed her a basketball and told her to “read this book”.
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
How do bees get to school?
They take the buzz.
I was to go to space camp, but then I realized I had no space to learn.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Me: "I came home laughing."
Parents: "What's wrong?"
Me: "The teacher asked everyone a question. Luckily, I was the only one who knew."
Parents: "Good for you, Johnny. What was the fantastic question your teacher gave everyone and only you knew?"
Me: "Well, it's kinda complicated, but here it goes."
Parents: "What is it?"
Me: "Who farted?"
A letter to all Math:
Dear Math,
Grow up and solve your own problems!
2x6= DO IT YOURSELF!!!!
Student: What's the best thing in the world?
Teacher: I don't know what.
Student: Hard rock cock.
I went to school and everyone was screaming and looking at me. They weren't after I shot them, though.
What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."