Education jokes

Lawrence in maths ;)

Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.

Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight(ate) nine.

What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?

Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"

Year 10 English.

Teacher: What’s 2+2?

Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh

Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.

Why do midgets need a lot of books at school?

So they can reach the top of the desk.

There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.

I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.

Father: Son, you can do butter!

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

Boy: Have you heard of the cool kid who just told us he had autism?

Teacher: What?

Boy: Well... never mind, he's well supported.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.

I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Rice Middle School

We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.