It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"
yikes...
#PlugWalk
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely responds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
you.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.
