did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he's dead.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
What do you call a person with one arm one leg one eye and one ear ONESY “Hey dad how do you kill a star?” -give them drugs
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.
The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."
The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."
The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
i was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit to EAR-itating
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man
PUTA BANANA IN YOUR EAR
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
I have two heads four eyes and six ears,what am I ?
Ugly.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze
because theres too many ears
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What do you call a animal with 3 eyes 2 mouth 6 noses and 4 ears
you.
I have 3 eyes 2 ears and 6 mouths, what am I UGLY!
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail
How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? -- A buccaneer.
How many ears does Captain Picard have? -- Three: A left ear, a right ear and a final front ear.
