Ear jokes
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Take it in the ear day? More like take it in the rear day.
"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"
yikes...
#PlugWalk
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
I was going to write a corny joke, but those are a bit too EAR-itating.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
So, a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital, and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on.
Doctor: "So, your wife, she is paralyzed from the neck down."
And as the doctor goes on, he says all the things the man must do for her, like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says, "Why, WHY ME!"
Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the man's ear and says, "I'm just fuckin' with you, she's DEAD!"
I have two heads, four eyes, and six ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?
you.
I have 3 eyes, 2 ears, and 6 mouths, what am I?
UGLY!
These are ear-retcal jokes...
Fail.