Why don’t cheetahs get married? They always cheat on each other
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other "I'm-a cashew!"
So 2 kids argued and insulted each other...
KID 1: Your dad left because he didn't want you so why don't you kill yourself?
KID 2: Well your dad already killed himself because he didn't want you.
Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other.
How do prisoners call each other? Cell phones
A boat carrying red paint ando a boat carrying blue paint crashed into each other. The crews were marooned
Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other? Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.
What do you call 2 homeless people throwing rocks at each other. "Pillow Fight".
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
sam and amya like anal sex with each other
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their teams bench.
After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.
“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”
Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”
She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
What do you call it when a Mexican and a Pedophile fight each other?
Alien vs Predator
Two balled dudes were pulling each other's hair
What did the twin towers say to each other
Sorry if that offended anyone
“I guess we are going down together”
how are a orphan and baseball different from each other
a baseball game there is a home run
A guy and his girl just finished making love. Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks "Have you thought about any baby names?". The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says "Well propably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this"
what do both a hooker and a customer have in common, they come onto each other
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree, Too bad only one was standing. :)
-Dark_Humor
6 looks like someone facing up 9 looks like someone facing down 69 looks like 2 people sucking each others dicks.
