Dying jokes

All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.

Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?

Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.

Me: What is that?

Siri: Sugondese nuts.

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

What does Diana stand for?

Died In A Nasty Accident.

Me: Knock knock.

My Grandma: Who’s there?

Me: Interrupting cow.

My Grandma: Interrupting c-

[Dies from heart attack]

You shouldn't joke about 9/11. My grampa died on 9/11. He was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

When I die, I’ll die in a trash can.

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"

Yo mama is so fat that a whole forest grew on her, but it was sad because she really smells, so the forest died.

My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot Pakistan has ever seen, Allahu Akbar!

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Die.

Die who?

Me, I want to die.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.