Dying jokes

What do the people in heaven that died on the Titanic call the Titanic? The Dietanic.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Oh, you wanna die? I wanna die too!

What do you call Darth Vader when he dies?

A black alien.

I asked the emo kid if they get jealous when their phone dies.

How do you know someone is going to die?

He can't stop coughing. (coffin)

What do your teacher and your friend have in common?

They will both die eventually.

Has anyone alive ever died?

Is this our eternal life?

What did one God say to the other?

"I will die to be a man."

I heard this was a really popular funeral home. People are dying to get in.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Die.

Die who?

Me, I want to die.

I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"

Kate ate food coloring last night. She said she was dying inside.

Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

My teacher asked me what my favorite number was yesterday, and I said 2977. I chose 91 for my football jersey number and Sharpied a 1 after the other 1, and my teacher Mr. Jackson's dad died in 9/11, and when he was talking about it Friday the 9th, I threw a paper airplane at him and got suspended for 3 days starting Monday.

One day my dog died because we couldn't find him. Then we got a cat on the same day. Then my cat went missing, and when I was crying, we heard our Asian neighbor was having a party. Then we went over and I saw my dog and cat on the grill, and they ate them in front of me, saying "yum yum doggy in my tummy and cat in my tummy as well."

I want to die.

Man: Did you know pidgins die after having sex?

Woman: No, really?

Man: Well, the one I fucked did...

My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.