Dying jokes
Your hairline goes back further than when my gran died, and she was buried 6 foot under.
How did 10 die?
Because it was in between 9 and 11.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.
After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.
“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” The bartender yells out.
The man turns around: “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”
Titanic is like our president; it cracks in half and dies.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Why do emo kids not get phones? Because the phone dies before them.
I ask the emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
Why did the orphan die?
He killed himself because the lack of a support system made him depressed.
Did you hear about the man who died of a Viagra overdose?
They couldn't close the casket.
Depression: Here, your mom just died.
Me: My mom is already dead.
My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"
U die from robot bite.
Did you hear about the gay Indian who died?
He was a brave sucker.
How did Mace Windu die?
He fell out the windoo.
Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.
Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.