Dying jokes
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."
A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"
Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."
Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the WiFi router.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Joseph Rosenbaum died doing what he loved: chasing minors.
My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”
I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”
I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”
Once upon a time lived a fat ass named Steve and got rabies and died. The end!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa, not screaming in terror like everyone else in the plane.
What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."
You see, my son is very into astronomy.
Son: How do stars die?
Dad: Usually overdose, son.
I'm such an asshole to my son, my wife divorced me.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
Yo mama so fat, she died!
Wanna know why Stephen Hawking died?
He lost his Wi-Fi connection.
How do we get a butt? God made us like that, and we can't change it. If you wanted to, you have to die <:
Stephen Hawking died because he got hacked by me, and the update was too strong.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die? His ethernet cable fell out.
To be brutally honest, I think his wife let him die for money, because they could just plug him back in. Surely they have an Android cable about?
How did Jesus kill himself?
He fell from his bike.
How many times did he die?
Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.