Downing jokes

My phone was at 10%, and my friend said it better not shut down like Stephen Hawking.

The kid with a gun walked into my classroom and fucking shot the teacher.

He pointed the gun at me and asked, "What's 2+2?" I answer him and he writes the answer down on his test. He did this with every kid. He got a 100%, expelled, and a lifetime in prison. Hey, at least he gets free food.

A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little boy says, "That’s my little red race car."

Ten minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?"

The little girl says, "That’s my little red race car garage."

So later that night, the little boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She said yes, and then they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won’t fit.

Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs up the stairs, flips on the lights and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?"

The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn’t fit, so I cut the back wheels off."

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*

What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Why do you want me?

Cus u like me...

What do you mean?

You love me.

No.

Look down.

Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.

He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.