Downing jokes

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

What happens to emo kids when they go up?

They never come down.

I intern at an orphanage that burned down this weekend with 30 kids inside.

Thankfully, I don’t have to call and tell their parents.

Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?

A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.

What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.

Two blondes fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"

The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."

What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that does comedy?

Sit down comedy.

Kobe's favorite song was "It's going down for real."

What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?

One goes up and one goes down.

Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.

My grandfather has been through a lot in his time. When he was in the war, he survived a mustard gas attack. And later down the line, he survived being pepper sprayed by the police. He was certainly a real seasoned veteran.

Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.

He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".

I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.

My pathological cheater of a sister wanted to play a board game with me.

I turned her down because I didn't like the Risk involved.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!

Sippin' on promethazine With lean, I fell in love.

I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup. I can't put down the cup.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Yo mama's so fat that every time she goes on an elevator, it goes down.

Your maw *microsoft shutting down noise*