Pennywise: They all float down here! Titanic: *hold my beer*
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge”.
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
i fell from the stairs the other day. it really "got me down".
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either
it’s just true
Who says Rihanna isn't charitable?
I mean, she found Johnny Depp for her fashion show, by scouting for people living in tents down in Skid Row.
How do you know when Helen Keller is home? Answer; When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run in to each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
Don’t let an extra chromosome get you down
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down. Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around. And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son
Call me an escalator because I let people down.
So my sister is a feminist I asked her what do you to hear a rape joke she said no I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What's got you down" The man says "I just found out my Niece is gay." The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks "What's got you down now?" The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women?" The man says "My wife does."
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and said, "Jill do you wanna?" Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill so now they have a son
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter, Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.