DoS jokes
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
Memes
Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?
A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.
Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.
what do you call a flat road named after George Floyd?
Flat neck road.
What do you call Adolf Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What do you call a cleaning skeleton?
The Grim Sweeper.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!