DoS jokes
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Memes
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?
He wiped.
Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it!
What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?
A Pre Visa!
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What do you call an emo kid with light up shoes?
A human chandelier.
How do parents punish a blind kid? They rearrange the furniture.
My girlfriend told me women are better at multitasking than men. So I told her to sit down and shut up. Guess what...
She couldn't do either!
What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?
And microtransaction.