DoS jokes

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

Daddy.

What do the initials BIBLE stand for?

Bull In Book Lacking Evidence

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?

because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?

They're both fun to flip off.

I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.

My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."

Teacher: What's 3 minus 1? Me: I don't know. Teacher: How about this, you have three cakes, I take one. How many cakes do you have? Me: Three. Teacher: If I take one cake from your three, what do you have? Me: Three cakes and a dead teacher.

What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?

A selfie.

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A stego-sore-ass.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.

Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?

A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his wife?

He wiped.

A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.

What do you call it when two transgender midgets have sex?

And microtransaction.

What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.

Where do poor Italians live?

The spaghetto.

What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?

They both like cracking open a cold one.