DoS jokes

What do you call a family photo taken by an orphan?

A selfie.

What do you call a Mexican's prison?

The border.

Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.

What do you call a gay dinosaur?

A stego-sore-ass.

What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?

CURRY in a hurry.

My mom asks, "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw, I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK?-"

Lemme treat you like I treat my homework: slam you on my desk and do you all night.

My wife cheated on me with my brother.

She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

What do you call a cleaning skeleton?

The Grim Sweeper.

Why do animals in polar regions have thick fur? Because they don't have a barber! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Q: Why do depressed people always have colored hair?

A: That’s as close as they can get to dye.

Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?

They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.

What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.

I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?

A baked potato.

Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?

What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.

How do you get an emo kid to jump?

A bridge.