Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
DoS Jokes
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
I have been thinking about suicide lately. I mean, hey, my mom tells me I can do anything I put my mind to.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
Do you get jealous of your clothes when they hang from the line?
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
What do a relationship and suicidal thought have in common? They’ll both end soon.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."
What do you do when you finish a magazine at school? Put another one in and continue!
What do you call Amber Heard crying during the lawsuit?
A DEPPression.
(If you are a fan of either Johnny Depp or Amber Heard, you might get the joke).
What do alcoholics and necrophiliacs have in common?
They both like cracking open a cold one.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?
No ballroom.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
What do Drake and math have in common? They’re both hard for kids.
Do you have a shovel? Because I'm digging that ass.
What do you call two gay Irishmen?
Patrick Fitz Gerald, and Gerald Fitz Patrick.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
What do you call an Australian visiting the UK on holiday?
Returning to the scene of the crime.
