DoS jokes
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
Memes
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair coming out of a building on fire? Hot wheels.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
So they can get in the cast!
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
Why do women hate having sex with midgets?
Because of their shortcomings.
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
What do lesbians do while having their period?
They finger paint.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.