How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
DoS Jokes
What do emos and the Lorax have in common?
They both hang with trees.
People say that biting off your finger would be as easy as biting a carrot if your brain didn't try to stop you. How the f do people know that and how many people's fingers did they bite off before coming to that conclusion?
Where do suicide bombers go after death?
Everywhere.
What do old people and meth heads have in common? They usually trip over their balls.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
No one cares if you bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
A man walks into a bar and says, "I'm feeling depressed. What do you have to cheer me up?"
The bartender replied: "A shotgun."
What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?
An orphan.
What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?
"Drop it, Jamal!"
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
I once had an emo friend doing a course for the marines. He made the cut.
How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!
My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.
