DoS jokes
How do you start a rave?
Throw a flashbang into the epileptic ward of a hospital.
Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?
Q: What do you call a shed full of black fellas?
A: Retired Farming Machinery.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
What's so special about bullets?
They do work after they are fired.
Memes
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad's cock tastes funny.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!