DoS jokes
What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?
I don't know.
Neither do I, but it runs in the family.
Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
Teach a feminist to fish and she will accuse you of patronising her, claim she knew how to do it anyway, and that even if she didn’t, she could easily work it out without the help of a man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?
Young Boy Never Walk again.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Memes
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
What do you call a white girl with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese.
Why do old people swallow popcorn kernels?
To make their cremation more entertaining when they die.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Cause every play has a cast.
Tried committing suicide last night...
Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!
What do you call a homeless Hitler?
A roofless dictator.
What do you call an Asian Chihuahua?
A Konichiuahua.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
How do you make a sad person jump?
A bridge.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.