DoS jokes

What do depressed kids and sloths have in common? They both hang from trees.

Why do orphans hate dodgeball?

Because nobody misses them.

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

What do you call it when Panera Bread has bread?

Panera Bread.

Why do orphans play Sims?

Because they can make themselves a family.

Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?

Mom: No.

Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

Two priests are pulled over by the police. One priest asks the cop what the reason for pulling them over is. The cop says, "We are looking for two child molesters." The priest look at each other and tell the cop they'll do it.

A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”

How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?

Take a flute and shove it up your ass.

What do computers and white kids have in common? They don't have trouble shooting.

what do you call a white person having a seizure?

a vanilla shake.

What do you call a redneck on fire?

A fire cracker.

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

Why do Priests like playing the violin? They get to finger A minor.

What do you call a German lesbian?

A krautmuncher.

What type of meat do priests eat on Good Friday? Nun.

A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"

One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."

A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"

"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"

So, I was at a funeral the other day, and it was a school shooting mass funeral. The lady beside me asked me, “What do you think was going through their heads?” And I replied, “Probably a bullet.” She was furious and said, “How dare you! You have no idea what those kids were probably going through!” And I replied, “Well, they were going through anything the bullet was going through them.”