Door Jokes

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”

Knock, knock? Who's there? French. French who? French fries!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

I didn’t know you could yodel!

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Leo is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Nothing makes a guy happier than when his girlfriend says, “Go and lock the door first...”

(DOORS)

What door is the first door that opens for you?

The elevator to go to the game.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

My name is Ya.

Ya who?

Yahooooo!!!

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Fix the door, it's broken!

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"

Why do orphans not like the movie Frozen?

Because for them, love isn't an open door.

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

Knock knock. Who is there?

I don't know.

What do you call a eatable door?

- Coriander 😂

Hi 👋 I love 💗 you walk in and out the door 🚪 night. I did not have time today. I was just a little bit and I had to walk home from home after dinner. I

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.