Dont jokes
Don't ever try to give an emo kid a high five. They'll just leave you hanging.
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
I just gotta come out and say it: I like miners, and I don’t care what y’all think. I mean the fact that they are risking their lives just to make ours a little easier is amazing. I’ve always wanted to marry one, to be honest. Y’all need to give more respect to the mining ⛏ community.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
"Pretend me please stop! I don't recall posting anything except commenting and posting something for Jordan C! Please stop!"
Yo, if you don't stop bugging Watersharky, we'll all go down!
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?
A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.
"Watersharky, don't leave the site."
Ok, everyone on this website... I HAVE NO BROTHERS OR SISTERS. The person who claims he's my "brother" is firesharky. He is trying to get fame. Never listen to him. He will lie and trick you to think I have a brother, but I don't.
Don't crack this joke up!
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have anyone to call them "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
They don't have anybody to sign the form.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.