Dont jokes
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Women be like I don't wear makeup for men.
Then get mad when a man doesn't compliment her in her makeup!
When you don't wear earrings for a long time, the hole can close, and it hurts so much when you want to put it back. 🙄🙄 😁😁😁🤣
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
What's the difference between a sex slave and a goat?
I don't have a sex slave in my basement...
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Don't give emos crack, they're high enough.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
Don’t blame Bush; he is white. It couldn’t have been him.
I threw a paper airplane at the twin sisters. The teacher was upset. I guess they don't read the news.
A turtle was walking down the street when suddenly a snail came and robbed him. When the police came, they asked what happened. The turtle responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
How do you know if a rapper is lying?
His rhymes don't add up.
Boss: Can I do a reference check?
Me: I don’t have a...
*sensei appears*
Me: oh no
Sensei: He was a good student, but he lacked kizma.
Boss: What's kiz...
Sensei:😈
Me: Oh no, here we go.
Sensei: Kizma AS-
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
If you are wondering where the dog went, I don't know. Maybe he went barking around.