Dont jokes
Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol
An old lady walks into an ice cream store. A clerk greets her and says, "What will it be today, ma'am? We have every flavor you can imagine." The old lady says, "Well, I guess I'd like a quart of chocolate ice cream." The clerk says, "Sorry, ma'am, we're out of chocolate today. Any other flavor we'll have." "Ok," she replies, "Why don't you just give me a pint of chocolate ice cream?" The clerk says a little louder in case she's hard of hearing, "Sorry, ma'am, but we're fresh out of chocolate ice cream." The old lady says, "Oh, ok. Why don't you just get me a cone with one scoop of chocolate ice cream?"
Finally, totally exasperated, the clerk says, "Wait a minute, lady. Can you spell 'Van' as in vanilla?" "Why of course, young man," she says, "V-A-N." "Right," the clerk says, "Can you spell 'Straw' as in strawberry?" "Well of course, 'Straw'," she replied. "Ok, then," he says, "Now spell 'Fuck' as in chocolate." She says, "There's no 'Fuck' in chocolate." He says, "That's what I've been trying to tell you... THERE'S NO FUCKING CHOCOLATE!!!"
Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!
Q: Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for their birthday?
A: 'Cause it don't have a home button.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
Why do nuns go around in pairs?
So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!
Don't say your life is a joke because jokes have meaning.
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Friend 1: I don't want to jump.
Friend 2: Me neither.
Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.
Friend 1: *jumps*
Friend 2: *jumps*
Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!
Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.
People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.
Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."
Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."
Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Q: Why don't cars work after you change their wheels?
A: Because they're retired!
Why don't orphans go skydiving?
Because they don't have the "Morley."
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You.
You who?
Don't you get it? You're the joke, dumbass!
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.