Dog jokes
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
What time do you think dogs are not happy?
Bulldogs.
What is a dog that does not walk? A magic dog.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.
Yo mama is so stupid, she took her dog to the vet because she thought he had a tube of lipstick stuck between his legs.
What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?
"It won't be long now..."
I had to get my dog. Is it a tree? Was your time and I had fun today after dinner. I had...
About a dog.
"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
Why are orphanages like dogs?
Because they get adopted.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.