Dog jokes
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
Every culture has weird food.
Australians eat vegemite. The British eat haggis. The French eat snails. The Chinese eat dogs. The Americans eat their young siblings' private parts.
Okay, One time I there was my dog. But then the dog, it fell.
Then I f**ked my dog hard in the a**.
Why are dogs different than orphans?
Because dogs don't cry for their parents.
Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What dog can’t see a dog that’s blind?
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
When my dog barks, he gets ruff.
Tuesday, I was looking at my family tree, and two dogs were using it.
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
A guy walks into a zoo, but it only has one dog.
It's a shitzu.