DOE jokes
What does an orphan say a lot? "Where is my house?"
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
What does a skeleton say when it has a lot of stuff?
"I have a skele-TON of stuff to do."
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
😉 i like target now
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
How does white people's backyard look like? Cotton field!
What does Michael Jackson have in common with Kmart?
They're both dead...
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why did the orphan stop playing baseball?
Because baseball has a home, and an orphan does not.
Laugh now.
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Why does no one sit next to a cheetah during school? Because they're a big cheetah.
The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.
The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.
The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.
The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:
"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
What does an orphan call a kidnapping?
A surprise adoption.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.