DOE jokes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
Bully: "You are so stupid!"
Classmate: does nothing.
Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"
Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."
What does an autistic kid and a porn video have in common? You can shoot both of them, just not in public.
What does an astronaut call his ex from space?
SpaceX.
DOGE POKÉMON CARD!!!
What does an emo do on Halloween? They hang like a decoration.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
When does a pentagon not have 5 sides?
When it’s intersected by a plane.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭
What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?
They believe their own lies.
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.