DOE jokes

Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."

What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?

Depends...

What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.

Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh. Next thing he hears is, "Dicks and pussies!" Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut, Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings, and Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they can't change anything.

Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭

What does Jesus have in common with Pinocchio?

They believe their own lies.

How does a priest purify water?

Boil the hell out of it!

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other one, "Does this taste funny to you?"

Why do orphans only have Samsung's? Because they don't have a home button.

Why does that kid have to stay in that orphanage?

He should just go to his mom and dad!

Why does Hitler need glasses?

Because he could Nazi.

What does a chicken give you?

Student: Meat.

What does a pig give you?

Student: Bacon.

What does a fat cow give you?

Student: Homework.

What does 2016 and 2020 have in common?

A monkey caused worldwide outrage.

What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?

A Kinder Egg surprise!

What does a gay horse eat?

Haaaaaaay!