How does an American know that his time has come? He starts hearing Vietnamese.
What does an apple company and an orphanage have that are different. Apples actually get picked.... Unlike little Timmy here.... He’s been here for 16 years..
WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals i hanging out eat lunch, which is a clown you see, cause there cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal "Does this taste funny to you?
What does LMAO mean? Launching Missiles At Orphanages.
How does a penguin build a house? **Igloos it together.**
What does the Bible stand for? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
Why does NASA only serve Coke? Because they can't get Seven-Up!
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween? - nothing
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline. The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me." a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal
What Does NASA stand for ? Neil Armweak Sorry Armstrong
What do you call a pig that does karate
A pork chop
What does an orphan call a family picture Answer: a selfie
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
What do u call a pig that does karate A pork chop
why does an orphan like home base because he doesnt have one
Q:What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?
A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"
What does Marcus Rashford say when he comes to the stadium? I wanna kick some balls!
why does the ophan drink hot coco with water because his dad never came back with the milk
