DOE jokes
Why does Michael Jackson do positions with kids in photos? Because they won’t do the same for him.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
Why does America suck at chess? Because they already lost their two towers.
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say Humpty Dumpty was an egg?
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!
What does Santa say about my mom? HO HO HO!
How does a rapper keep their money safe?
In a RAP VAULT.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
What does the B in Benoît B. Mandelbrot stand for?
Benoît B. Mandelbrot.
There is a young lady.
She is beautiful.
She got much vote.
But she speaks very fast.
Does she think she looks smart doing that?
She makes me feel bad.
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
How many gears does a French tank have?
One forward and six reverse.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What does a cow say? Moo.
What does Chainsaw Man's chainsaw say as he chases a black person?
"Runnnnigernigernigerniger..."
Why does a leaf fall faster than an emo kid? Because the emo hangs itself.