DOE jokes
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
What kind of car does Jesus drive?
A Christler.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
Why does the mushroom 🍄 have many friends?
Because it’s a fungi.
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Memes
Everybody does this
Where does a crayon go on vacation? To color-ado.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
9: one to screw the lightbulb, one to film it, one to post about it on a women empowerment social media page, one to complain that the man didn’t screw the lightbulb, one to say that women deserve to screw more lightbulbs, one to try to get #womenlightbulbscrewers trending on Twitter, one to bring a man and show him the screwing, one to say that women are better than men at screwing lightbulbs, and one to make a speech about the lightbulb.
I went to a sleepover at my best friend's house. He lives with his grandpa and little brother, his mom and dad. His little brother likes to run around the house naked sometimes. I can't help but notice his grandpa always looks up when he does.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
What’s the difference between a suicide bomber and a feminist? A suicide bomber actually does something when triggered.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's a silly question. Feminists can't change anything.
Where does an orphan come from?
Daddy getting milk.
What does FNAF mean? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What does a killer say in the shower in the morning?
- Splish splash, I'm gonna slash...
Son: Mom, can I borrow $50?
Mom: What? NO WAY! Do you think money grows on trees?
Son: Mom, what is money made of?
Mom: Paper.
Son: Where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...