DOE jokes
Why does air not come down? I think gravity didn't like the Facebook page of air.
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
One Tuesday afternoon, Little Jonny decides he wants extra homework, so he went to his teacher and said, "Hello, can I have extra homework this week?"
The teacher replied with, "Sure, be at my house Friday afternoon to cut my lawn, polish the counters, scrub the baseboards, scrub and paint the walls!"
And Johnny replied with, "That's not what I meant, but at least I'll get paid!"
The teacher said, "How about $200 each job?"
Johnny replied with, "OK."
Friday afternoon at her house, after Johnny does all the jobs, he asked for his payment and the teacher laughed and said, "You do know that Tuesday was April Fools' Day, right?"
What does a kid who has autism and reading have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
How many babies does it take to paint a barn red? Depends on how hard you throw them.
How does Helen Keller smell?
Pretty bad, she's dead!
Why does the Sun go to school?
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
'Cause he Neverlands.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.