DOE jokes
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does a cheetah always lose on a test? Because he is a cheater!
I was in cooking class and my teacher said, "Does anyone know what a chopping board is similar to?"
Me and my friend just glanced at each other and burst out laughing.
Long story short, the teacher understood the joke, and now we are both in daily therapy. 😭💀
I made a website for orphans; it does not have home pages, though.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.
During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Why does New York have the Jets as their football team if those are what took out the Twin Towers?
What does an orphan call home?
Nothing. 🤣
What does Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?
Kids turn them on.
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
What does the blind man say when walking past the fish market?
“Good evening, ladies.”
What does my uncle call a school?
A strip club.
How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.