DOE jokes

What does a glass of water ask a pond?

"Water you doing?"

What does the pond answer?

"Pondering life."

Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?

In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.

Why does Adam buy airsoft guns, you might ask?

To defend himself against his own father... his life must be shit.

My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.

  • 2
  • How do you suck a dick?

    Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

  • 0
  • How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?

    More than 9 because my basement's still dark.

    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

    Wife: "How would you describe me?"

    Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

    Wife: "What does that mean?"

    Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."

    Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

    Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

  • 1
  • How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?

    Apparently not enough to impress him.

  • 2