DOE jokes
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and all he does is sit in his wheelchair and cry all day.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.