What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
DOE Jokes
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
How many babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
More than 9 because my basement's still dark.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That I will never get old.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What does Stephen Hawking have for food?
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how many you throw.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
