DOE jokes
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
Why does Barry Bannan laugh when he plays football?
Because the grass tickles his balls because he's so short.
How long does it take a baby to cook in the microwave?
I don't know. I close my eyes when I masturbate.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common? They never get old.
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two; one to screw in the lightbulb and one to SUCK MY COCK!
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
Where does Stephen Hawking go when he breaks his arm? PC World.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.