DOE jokes
A man walks into a bar and orders 3 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down?"
The man says, "I just found out my niece is gay." The next day, he orders 4 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's got you down now?" The man says, "I just found out my son is gay."
The next day, he orders 6 shots of whiskey. The bartender says, "Got anybody who likes women?" The man says, "My wife does."
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
What does this joke and half a deck of cards have in common?
You can't even deal with it!
So, a bear and a rabbit are in a field. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Does your poop stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied, "No." Then the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his butt.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops*
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
First Man: My dog's got no nose.
Second Man: How does he smell?
First Man: Awful.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
What does the Fox say?
Fraka - kaka - kaka - kow.
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!