DOE jokes
Why does a duck have tail feathers?
To cover his butt-quack.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
What does PEMDAS stand for?
Penis enters my dad and sister.
How do you make a baby astronaut sleep?
You rock-it!
Why does my mum eat carrots?
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.
How do inmates keep in touch?
They have cell phones.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
What kind of shoes does a ninja wear? Sneakers.
What does a 911 call receiver say when they get a call?
"9 Juan Juan, who this?"
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What is the difference between your new teacher and a train?
Your teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Choo Choo!"
What does a grape do if a rhino is about to squash it?
Nothing, it just lets out a little wine.
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
Jesus Christ does exist, he does, and he is the son of God... a God that doesn't exist XD
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
Q: What does a cat have that no other animal has?
A: Kittens.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
Your mama is so short, she does backflips under her bed.